Beautiful Boy(s)

???He didn???t come out of my belly, but my God, I???ve made his bones, because I???ve attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I???m so proud of all those things. He is my biggest pride.???

-??John Lennon

I saw this on the wonderful "1001 rules for my unborn son" blog. Check it out if you haven't.

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's murder. Whatever you thought about his politics, I think we can all agree that the world is darker place without more of his music. I thought about writing a piece just about John, but didn't really have the connection. I love the Beatles, and I'm saddened every year when this date rolls around, but I don't have any words to say about John really, other than those I've already said.

I do have something to say about the above quote, though. John is speaking about his son, Sean, here. I can't say all of that with complete honesty about Judah and Remy. I haven't attended every meal. I'm not there every night when they sleep.

But the end of the sentiment, "(t)he(y) is(are) my biggest pride." Yep. It's true. Nothing I accomplish in my life could possibly make me prouder than Son #1 and Deuce already do. I love my boys in a fierce way, and can't imagine anything I wouldn't do for the two of them. I have a life, apart from and without them, but at the same time they are my life. I'm not going to be there for every meal or bedtime. Life circumstances have seen to that. But I will endeavor to be around for every milestone, every heartache, every setback. I want to be the one (or at least one of the ones) that they rely on in hard times. That I can do, regardless of the circumstances.

They are my biggest pride.

John, the world misses and loves you. Thank you for all you gave us, including simple thoughts about the role and affections of a father.

Sons, daddy misses and loves you. Thank you for the wonderful people you are, and the amazing men you are going to become. Your father just wanted to send some simple thoughts about his love and affection for you.