Love is a Cold B**ch: Cee-lo Green "F**K YOU"

WARNING!!!! Strong language contained within. Don't blame me if it offends.

This is the latest (and most controversial) in an ongoing series exploring love songs and the themes behind them. Check out the rest here

Here are the lyrics for Cee-lo's "FU":

(Chorus)
I see you driving 'round town
With the girl i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
I said, if i was richer, i'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Yeah i'm sorry, i can't afford a ferrari,
But that don't mean i can't get you there.
I guess he's an xbox and i'm more atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

Now i know, that i had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?
(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
"this is one for your dad"
(your dad, your dad, your dad)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh!
I still love you. Oooh!

(chorus)

Wow. "Oh, shit she's a gold-digger/just thought you should know, nigga" as sung by Cee-lo's Pips is maybe the most awesome thing ever put into music.

Surface stuff first. The song is infectious. The video is adorable (if something with so many expletives can be adorable). But we're not here for frivolity. We're here to talk about love songs.

Love is a cold bitch (as explained in the title of this post). She will cut you deep and laugh while you bleed (yes, ladies, love is female. you know it's true), and sometimes you need to call her out on it (I'm still talking about love itself and not the girl/guy in particular, haha.)

What's so perfect about this song is not the profanity, the humorous backup singers or even the universal nature of the story of a man losing a woman because another guy has more (money, power, looks, sanity, whatever). The song is perfect and deserves a place in this series because of the end.

Cee-lo is not reveling in his new found singleness. He's not glad to be rid of someone that obviously didn't care about him. He's sad. He's heartbroken. He's calling his mama! It's the "WHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!" at the end that makes this one of my instant favorites.

Cee-lo wants her back. Don't we always? Is being alone so terrible that we'd rather have someone that is undeserving? It's so strange that we (I'm speaking for all of humanity now, I can do that) would belittle ourselves, we would spend time, money, energy, affection on a person who doesn't return any of those things. It's one of the most perplexing things about love, and since love is the most perplexing thing about the human experience, it's right at the top of that list too.

So, for all the heartbroken, from me to your undeserving ex-significant other (via Cee-lo) "Fuck you. Ooh-ooh-ooh."

Key lesson: Don't slash tires, or graffiti apartment walls when you're done dirty. Just blast a little Cee-lo and know that great art is liable to come out of your heartbreak.