Dear Thursday...

Dear Thursday,

It's not you, it's me. You haven't done anything in particular to hurt me or make me want to leave you. I'm just not ready for a commitment with you. You've been swell, really and I hate to cause you any pain or anxiety, but you need to know that I'm awfully excited about the possibility of seeing other days. Yes, as a matter of fact, your friends Friday and Saturday are the two I have my eye on.

It's not that we haven't had good times together. This morning, when we ate breakfast, it was great and later when I got to see Judah during lunch, that was wonderful. But other than that, I'm afraid you're just not my type. Alright, I guess it's true, it is you.

I'm a mover and shaker, a guy that wants to get things done. You, so far, have shown yourself to be a lingerer. You just go on and on and on, but what have we accomplished? Nothing. That's right.

Hey, stiff upper lip. There's no reason to let this get you down. We'll still keep our plans for tonight. We'll watch Lebron and the Cavs win tonight versus Boston and force a game seven. That's be great to end our association on a high note, right? Then, we'll say goodbye and I'll start my life with Friday watching "Robin Hood" at midnight. Sure, it's a work thing, but there's nothing wrong mixing business and pleasure!

What do Friday and Saturday have that you don't? That's a tough question, maybe we shouldn't...alright. If you have to know, I'll tell you! Friday is going to let me co-host "Fox and Co." There. I said. I'm going to branch out into a new area of radio and stretch my creative wings. You never let me do that!

Saturday? Saturday is bringing me a remote broadcast and a tidy little sum of cash. Sure, I'm not above bribery. But just so you know that I'm not hard-hearted and that it's not all about business, Saturday is taking me to Tech Tony's. I'm going to hang out with my friends (Saturday gets along better with them than you ever did!) and have a really good time, then I'm going to sleep it all off with Sunday morning.

So, listen. It's all on the table now. There's no reason to keep this charade up any longer. Let's handle the business that's before us and part ways as amicably and as quickly as possible!

Sincerely yours,