Yesterday I got a forwarded email of humorous observations. Generally, these are immediately discarded electronically, but yesterday I was in a humorous mood and decided to check them out. I cut out the ones that weren't funny, got rid of everyone's email addresses and work email signatures/privacy policies and posted it here. Now you can read it and laugh without feeling like you're encouraging forwarders.
(also, thanks, Jena)
- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
- Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose ??not to be friends with?
-Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem.????Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem?????There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
-There is a great need for sarcasm font.
-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far..
-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I trying to finish a text.
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible..
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How do I respond to that?