But, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

The Perfect job.

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Do you even know what yours is?

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I didn't. Not until I started sketching out this post, anyway. I knew I wanted a follow up to my "Job Hunt" post from a few weeks ago. Since there's not much (nothing in fact) to report about the job hunt (neither info on the continuation of my current job, nor solid leads on a new one) I began to think about outlining, for myself if no one else, what exactly I was looking for. Take away most realistic concerns or limitations and just define what it is that you want.

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It's not as easy as it sounds. Giving voice (or in this case, words) to your dreams means highlighting how short you've fallen of them. Stating your goals implies a desire and a willingness to chase them. While my current job might not be my ideal one, I'm quite comfortable in it. I make a difference to the people I encounter on a daily basis. I meet all the requirements of my position easily, have a great relationship with my coworkers and bring home an adequate salary for my troubles. Why would I stir the pot, even if it's hypothetically?

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First of all because I've got this blog, and I've got to put something on it. But mostly, because I believe in naming your objective. Claiming it and then conquering it. If I put it out into the world that this is where I'm going, then eventually I can get there, as long as I don't lose sight of the goal. Again, this is where the blog can come in handy. Just like with my weight-loss goals, by putting it out there for people to see I've staked my position. If I fall short it won't be some private regret or sadness, it'll be a publicly known shame. I'll have let everyone down, not just myself.

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Maybe that's all a lot of psycho-babble, but that's what I think, and that's why I'm writing this.

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I want to be a writer, and to put too much finer a point on it would be to limit the scope of my dreams. I have books inside my head, books that want to come out. I also imagine screenplays flowing from these fingers. I've got a short film already written that I hope to shoot very soon (more info as it happens). I grew up in the theatre and I could see my works staged. I'd even love to direct a few, but it's always at the keyboard that I see myself happiest. I can't imagine that I'd ever give up this sort of immediate connection to my fans, friends and readers, so I guess I'll probably always be a blogger, too.

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I want to travel, tasting the world in its many permutations and channeling that into my writing. I want to listen to people tell stories and coalesce and combine them into interesting tapestries of humanity. I want to write first-person narratives of our journey through the world with one another. The simple things (diapers, dinners, day-dreams) and the grandiose (trips, trials and triumphs). And as I write this, I realize that I'm already there. I've got my dream job, and as long as I can afford to keep the electricity on to type at this keyboard, or pick up new pens and notepads, I'll always have it. As long as I don't give up the dream to express myself through the written word, nor my conviction to do it consistently and to the best of my ability, I'll always be living my dream.

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I've got a beautiful wife and a wonderful son, with one more on the way. The four of us will travel the world (if not in the grandest of style) and I'll write about our experiences just as I'm doing now. Maybe the book about my journey from couch potato to marathoner will never be published. Maybe my blog will never be seen by anyone but a handful of friends and family that have a personal stake in our little family. Maybe I'll never make a living with my words, but it'll always be my occupation. And you can't put a price-tag on that.