Today's Top Five: Joel's Favorite Time Wasters

5. Staring aimlessly into the distance. - An oldie, but a goodie. As my father said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. You can waste a lot of time staring aimlessly. **Surprising Bonus** It gives you the look of a crazy person and may keep people from bothering you.

4. Twiddling my thumbs. - I learned this one from my Grandfather and I've been using it since I was a kid. While it's a sufficient time-waster on its own, you can combine this with "staring aimlessly." I should say, that this an advanced move and should only be attempted by serious time-wasters.

3. Wikipedia - I know, even as recently as a few years ago, that there were printed repositories of knowledge known as "Encyclopedia's." These were generally very old, outdated and excellent sources for elementary school papers. Wikipedia, on the other hand, is always up to date, though not always accurate. You can find info on everything from Hitler to Who-ville. While it makes an EXCELLENT time waster, I don't think it would make a good source for an elementary paper, but I'm not in elementary school anymore so I don't care.??

2. "Researching Future Blog Posts" - For the lay-person this may seem like a reasonable occupation instead of a "time-waster". You would be wrong. What I (and most bloggers) mean when they say "I'm researching future blog posts" is that they're watching videos of people doing stupid things on YouTube (I guess I could have just shortened that previous sentence to "they're watcing YouTube").

1. Facebook stalking - As I mentioned in yesterday's "Top Five", Facebook Stalking is the new national pastime. I am the Hank Aaron of Facebook Stalking. Thank God Facebook doesn't keep stats on this sort of thing, people might no how little I actually do.