I???m a porky dude.
It???s true, there???s no way around it. I???m far heavier than I ought to be. But, finally, I???ve decided I???m going to do something about it.
Exercise as a hobby has never interested me. The idea that running around (or jogging, or lifting or whatever) and getting sweaty was fun, just didn???t make sense. You know what I think is fun? Watching a movie, or reading a book. Enjoying a nice afternoon with an iced tea on the back porch. Maybe even playing a video game, those are all fun things. Exercise (as I understood it) is not fun.
Then it occurred to me that there are other things that are not fun. Being the fattest guy in your circle of friends. Having to buy new jeans because yours make you gasp when you wear them. Knowing that none of the pretty girls you pass in your daily errands (including your wife) think to themselves, ???what a hot guy???. Not being able to play baseball/soccer/basketball/football/freeze tag with your son, because your too fat and slow. None of these things are fun. They all suck.
I do not suck. I (as is obvious by the web-site's name) am awesome. Mr. Awesome, in fact. So, about three weeks ago, I made a promise to myself that I wasn???t going to buy any new jeans. I wasn???t going to miss out on playing with Judah, and I darn sure wasn???t going to be the fattest guy I know. I was going to get back down to my fighting weight, or more accurately, get there for the first time.
I???ve been bigger my entire adult life. To a degree it runs in my family, but mostly it???s due to my poor diet, weak willpower when it comes to snacking and sedentary lifestyle. All that is about to change...well, most of it. The fact of the matter is, that I???m crazy when it comes to food. I have some serious mental/dietary issues and those aren???t going away just because I want to get in shape. So, I might have to work a little harder than the average joe. I might not win any awards for my diet or break any records with the speed with which I drop the pounds, but bit by bit, they ARE coming off.
Here???s my plan:
- Stop Super-sizing. -- It seems like a small and obvious thing. But this is my chocolate, my lemon meringue, my tantalizing little sweet treat. I love french fries. I???ll miss the super-size, but I???ll live...and be slimmer for it.
- Cut my sodas down to two a day. -- Again, an obvious one, but let???s meditate for a moment on the fact that since I was about seven or eight, this is all I???ve drank with any regularity or aplomb. I don???t (or didn???t) like water. I don???t care for tea unless it???s so sweet that it tastes like soda and I can???t stand any juices (although, I am gonna try a few for a while and see if I can buy in to them).
- Work my fat tushy off. -- If I really want to get down to a respectable size, if I really want Ella (and the odd cute girl) to consider me ???hot??? instead of ???funny??? then I???ve got to get moving. I???ve got to find something that I can get behind mentally. Something that will make me come back, day after day and keep at it. Something that will point out my missteps and commend my progress. I needed...
If you???ve seen the commercials (and if you???ve watched TV, you???ve seen the commercials) you might be thinking, ???That???s just a gimmicky, kid???s toy. That???ll never do the trick. He needs to (insert your own idea of exercise nirvana here).??? To a degree, you might be right. If I was looking to win Mr. Universe, Wii Fit ain???t getting it done. If I wanted to enter the NBA draft next season, Wii Fit is probably not the answer I need (Human Growth Hormone might work), but if all I???m looking to do is change my attitude about fitness and ingrain daily physical activity into my routine (which is exactly what I???m looking for) then Wii Fit is perfect.
Three weeks ago, I was heavier than I had ever been. The stress of the new baby, the comfort of a steady marriage and the lure of McDonald???s fries had done their damage. After two weeks with the Joel diet (and no Wii Fit) I had already lost nine pounds. I???m almost through one week with Wii Fit and I???ve actually gained a pound, but I???m calling that new muscle. The key thing is that every day I get on that balance board and my Wii tells me whether I???ve gained or lost weight. There???s no public shame, there???s no pointing and giggling weight-lifter. There???s just me and the knowledge that I???m the only one that can do anything about it.
Everyday as I do the yoga, strength training and aerobic exercises I can tell that my legs are a little stronger, my limbs bend a little further, I shake a little less and I enjoy myself a little more. I may not have lost any weight, but I might have started knocking that monkey off my back. I???m working on a new me and I already like him better, whether he???s ???hot??? yet or not.