The World Premier of Baby Rogue

Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time anywhere, I give you...

Baby Rogue.

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The rumors some of you have been hearing are true. Mr. and Mrs. Rogue are about to have a little Rogue. I don't mean some sort of analogy or metaphor to describe a new idea of ours, I mean in a few months, Ella's going to give birth to a baby. Theoretically, one that belongs to the two of us.

How did this happen, you might ask?

Well, when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very very much, they ask God to send the stork with a little bundle of...

Oh, that's not what you meant by "How did this happen?" Ah hah.

We weren't trying. If you've followed my blogs for very long, you know that Ella and I weren't even sure that we wanted kids. We definitely didn't want any right away. But sometimes, Mother Nature (and faulty birth control pills) has a mind of her own.

The big surprise is how quickly this is all approaching. For the unfamiliar, the average pregnancy is considered "full term" between 37 and 40 weeks, Ella is in her 22nd week. How could we have kept the secret so long, you might be wondering. Well, it was pretty easy since we didn't know ourselves until just more than a week ago. All the "usual signs" that might tip you off that you "got a bun in the oven" had another explanation in our case. Couple that with the fact that we were not only not trying, but actively trying not to get pregnant and we just overlooked what, in retrospect, should have been obvious.

In fact, the only reason we know now is because within two or three days time, Ella had gone from slim and trim to the beginnings of a Buddha belly. Incidentally, at it's current rate of growth, Ella's belly will soon have its own gravitational pull. Since we first noticed (and found out about our bundle of joy) it has almost tripled in size. Whereas a week ago it was barely noticeable, today she looks like this:

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So, here we are already halfway done with our first pregnancy. If they're all this easy, I might be able to talk Ella into a half dozen more. On the one hand, we wish that we had the normal amount of time to discuss baby names, plan the nursery, fight with the soon-to-be-grandparents over those aforementioned baby names, etc., but then again, finding out late in the game does have its advantages. For instance, most people wait several months before they know the sex of the baby. We knew within four days. If you're planning on sending gifts, make sure they are blue, 'cause Baby Rogue is a boy.

Another advantage to basically skipping the first half of gestation (I didn't really need to use that word, but I like it so much, I couldn't help myself. It's sad that's not a word we could use more often. Maybe we could use gestation as a slang term for something else, like "I'm tired of his attitude, he's always gestating, like he's better than me." Just a thought) is that we don't have to wait long to meet our little fella. Baby Rogue begins his own adventures (no word yet on whether he'll write about them or not) on or around January 24th of 2008. That's right. I'm officially just over four months away from being somebody's daddy. If that's not a sign of the Apocalypse, I'm not sure what is.

Mrs. Rogue and I are of course, excited, nervous, scared witless, and elated all at the same time. We've got a million things to do, and not a whole lot of time to do them in. The good news is that I now know my retirement is secure. With Ella's good looks, and my (not so) evil genius, it's likely that we are ushering in the next step in human evolution, so all of you should prepare to become obsolete. As the parents of Homo Superior, we will surely be revered and provided for. Fear not, those that lay down their weapons peacefully and surrender to their new leaders will be treated fairly. Resistance is futile, ladies and gentlemen, the Rogue's are taking over.