Come Buy the Drunken Rogue's Crap!
Boy, I love a garage sale. If they held them at four-thirty in the afternoon (preferably inside or at least on a very mild day) then I would go all the time. Generally, they are very early (the Drunken Rogue does his best work after noon) and almost always on a particularly warm (sometimes even rainy) Saturday.This Saturday (Lord, keep the rain away) Mr. and Mrs. Rogue (with an assist from Sister Rogue, Mother Rogue, Mother Rogue-in-law, and extended family) are throwing a little garage sale of our own. You'll find all manner of crap, from the large (furniture) to the very small (video games, and books) with just about everything in between. And, since you know that Mrs. Rogue and I have excellent taste, you know our crap is worth coming to check out. If you happen to be in the area this weekend (Saturday morning, doors open at 6:30) then stop on by, and cart off some of our former treasures at bargain prices. If you're not in the area, but within driving distance, come on down (our stuff is THAT good)! If you'd have to fly to get here, you should probably stay put (nobody's stuff is THAT good). You can find us at 503 Spencer Street, Ruston, Louisiana. If you're around, but don't know where that is (over by the Ruston High Tennis Courts) leave me a comment and I'll hook you up with directions.
"Why the sale?" you may ask, and with good reason. Everyone knows I'm a pack rat (it was the name of my childhood club, for goodness sake). There are two reasons, primarily, for the impending sale of all my Earthly possessions (minus my TV, you can't have my TV): 1. 'Cause I don't want to carry this old stuff all the way to our new house. -- In with the new, out with the old. It's a whole cyclical thing, man. 2. 'Cause when we get to the new house, we're gonna want to buy new stuff, and that costs money. -- You exchange your money for our old stuff, we exchange your money for our new stuff. Again, cyclical. There is an unspoken bonus that you get going to a garage sale that people often overlook (or at least never mention to me). You get to rummage through other people's lives without any social repercussions. Have you ever wondered what your neighbor and his wife are REALLY like? Well, dig through the stuff they're throwing out (no, not there day old Chinese takeout!) and you'll start to get a pretty good handle on them. It's always fun to look at their clothes, too. You can see what horrible fashion fads they have finally decided to give up on (my current goodbye is short-sleeved Hawaiian shirts) and what clothes they are selling brand-new because they know they're never going to lose the weight necessary to squeeze into them (I'm selling three brand new shirts from "Express for Men"). Sure, you've got to get up early, but now you've got a little private smile every time you see the person and picture them in those gold parachute pants. You just can't put a price tag on that kind of humor. But we have put price tags on all my junk. So, come on down, and sift through the shattered remnants of the Drunken Rogue's life.