Luck of the Pale: The Double Edged Sword of Being Irish

The Irish are pale, there's no two ways about it. Even those of us with dark hair and eyes (we're called Black Irish 'cause we've got rhythm) still burn pretty easily unless our bloodline has been mixed over the years with other (more tannable) peoples. Sucks to be us right? Not so much. Think about it, if you are genetically pre-disposed to sunburn doesn't that give you a built in excuse to sit in the shade while your compadres toil in the sun? Isn't a great excuse when the wife says you need to take the dog for a walk but you'd rather play another ten minutes of that new video game? I might have given myself away on that one a little bit.

The Original Irish Brawlers

Last night, Mrs. Rogue and I went to see a midnight showing of "300" the new film from Zach Snyder based on Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name. It tells the story of King Leonidas and his Spartans as 300 of them stood against the mighty army of the Persian empire in defense of Sparta (and greater Greece). It's a well known historical story, and the film (while definitely taking liberties with history) is AWESOME! What you probably don't know (and the film fails to mention) is that Leonidas and his Spartan warriors were actually Irish. True story. Sure, the lived literally hundreds of years before the country (and people) we know as Ireland formulated. Sure, St. Patrick (and Christianity) didn't exist yet. But let's look at the facts. These Spartans were short (everybody was back then), they were known as brawlers (and good ones) and, as shown in the film, they enjoyed their wine and women thoroughly. Tough guys with hearts of gold that's the best way to describe the Spartans as presented in "300," and it's not a bad way to describe the Irish either. I've had no luck however finding any conclusive proof that the Battle of Thermopylae took place on St. Patrick's Day, but the Greeks did eventually drive the Persians into the sea (just like St. Pat drove the snakes into the sea, eerie).

Patty's Day Party List Part 2 (I love alliteration)

2. Booze -- Can you celebrate St. Patrick's day while staying stone cold sober? I don't even understand the previous question. It's like asking "Can I use the Internet if I want to avoid computers, electrical outlets and and wireless devices?" Umm, not in this Universe. Alright, maybe my position on this one is a little tough. I'll leave you some wiggle room, feel free to drink tea while you're at my St. Patty's Day party, but when I slap you on the back and say, "This is vun, I'm havering the bestesest time. Hav're yo doin'?" You better reply, "Terrivic!" followed by an unintelligible holler. We've got appearances to keep up here.