...And That's When I Decided to Wear the Diaper...

Ever been jealous?

Jealous is a nasty, nasty thing. It can ruin friendships, destroy a romance, hurt your job performance or get you locked up for driving cross country carrying a cornucopia of odd kidnapping tools and wearing a diaper to stop a romantic rival.

That's what it did to Lisa Nowak.

Do you remember when every kid wanted to grow up to be an astronaut (at least until they found out there was no real ice cream in outer space), when Neal Armstrong and John Glen were not just brave men, but American heroes. They are modern day explorers, boldly going (so to speak) and returning to tell the tale. Well, I bet Columbus never tried to kidnap an ex-girlfriend's new fling.

So when Lisa Nowak decided that her rival, Colleen Shipman (these are terrible astronaut names, by the way) couldn't be suffered what did she pack to take care of the job? Pepper spray, a knife, a BB Gun (for those pesky squirrels that might get in the way), latex gloves, a steel mallet, several feet of rubber tubing, a wig and a trench coat. I'm not sure, but she may have been planning on staging a "Three Stooges" episode. Oh, there was one more thing that Lisa brought on her little mission. Diapers. And it makes perfect sense too. I mean, if you REALLY need to kidnap (and possibly kill) someone all the way in Orlando, and you're stuck in Houston, there's no time to dilly-dally with going to the bathroom! I feel your pain, Lisa.

Now Lisa awaits trial (on bail, but with her whereabouts monitored by a tracking device), and NASA is busy answering questions about someone so obviously mentally unstable managed to make it on to a flight team just seven months ago. But come on, everybody knows you'd have to be crazy to go into Outer Space until they figure out how to give you regular ice cream!