My Latest Addiction

It's 3:30am. I'm up wandering to the bathroom to answer nature's call. I handle my business and am on my way back to bed to catch those last few hours of slumber, but then I see it. There it is, calling to me. I'm not going back to bed, not right away.

It's 7:45pm. Ella and I are enjoying a nice quiet evening on the couch. We are watching a movie. It's exciting, touching and has my complete attention. Until, I notice it. Five minutes go by as I completely lose focus on the film I was so enjoying. For all I know the heroine and the hero are no longer madly in love, it doesn't matter anymore. I've got to go to it. It's calling me.

What is it? What has such a hold on me that I'm losing sleep to maintain a connection? What is so important I can't even sit through a movie or a whole episode of "Sports Night"? It's the glowing blue light coming from my Wii.

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The Wii is my favorite new toy. For those that don't know anything about it I would suggest you check out Wii.com. I don't know when exactly the glowing blue light took over my life, but I do know there is no going back. It glows to tell me that I have a message. Maybe it is one of my friends that also own a Wii, telling me about a new game they're playing, or a new Mii they created. Maybe they've sent me one of their Mii's! Or perhaps Nintendo has unlocked some new feature and they've sent me a message notifying me. This has already happened twice with the Forecast Channel and the Internet Channel. It's so exciting.

I'm writing this in between dashes to my living room to make sure there is no current glowing light. I'd hate to miss a new message or delivery. For those that have a Wii (connected to the Internet) know that someone else is suffering (and reveling) the harsh mastery of the glowing blue light. For those that don't yet know the power of the Wii (and rest assured we will have you all eventually) enjoy your time as free men and women, because the glowing blue light is coming for you.

Top Five Threats to Modern American Society:

5. Osama Bin Ladin - Sure he's holed up in a cave somewhere probably dying of a combination of internal wounds and meanness, but still this crafty bastard is likely to strike at any moment. Never mind the fact that he is on the run and no longer in charge of his own organization, he's dangerous.

4. Saddam Hussein - I know we've all seen the video by now of his execution, but are you really so gullible as to think that death will stop this man's menace? Nonsense. Anyone wily enough to hide Weapons of Mass Destruction even while he hides himself in a trench in the desert is a man worth fearing. Not to mention the fact that he may be Barack Obama's illegitimate father.

3. Intergalactic Space Tyrants - The Scientologists have been warning us for years of the impending doom that awaits us if we continue to ignore Xenu and his attacks on our well being from within our own bodies. I don't know about you, but that sounds like some pretty sage advice to me! I'll be cleansing myself of Intergalactic Space Tyrants while I'm waiting on a message from the Wii.

2. Evel Knievel - What's that you say? He's old and decrepit? The only way he maintains any semblance of consciousness is with oxygen tanks and heavy doses of morphine? I say that just makes him more dangerous. Any guy like that is gonna go out with one last stunt, and a long jump on motorcycle with three or four heavily explosive tanks hooked up to him sounds a lot like a terrorist attack to me!

1. The Glowing Blue Light of the Wii - Aha! You didn't really know where I was going with this one did you? Well, this is where I was going. It's addictive, it's overpowering, and it may well have been dreamed up by some of the aforementioned dangerous men (although probably not Evel, thinking wasn't really his thing). Look out America, the Wii is after you!