I Give New Meaning to the Phrase, "Babe Magnet"

I'm a Babe Magnet, well more correctly I'm a Baby Magnet. I really like babies, and they seem to adore me. In just the past year a few more babies that I'm sure are destined to be crazy about their "Uncle Rogue" were born. Of course my brother and sister-in-law's daughter Sara Claire, then Melissa and Matt's daughter Ella (awesome name BTW), then Ellie and Ryan's Ava Elizabeth, and finally yesterday, Darren and Lana's son Linden.

Sara and I have already bonded, and I am least in her top two favorite uncle list (note, she only has two). Linden's a little young yet to get to play seeing as how he hasn't even made it to the 24 hour mark, and I haven't met Ava, and Ella yet, but I will soon.

So, why do kids like me so much? I have some theories, and here are the top five reasons.

1. I'm a world champion "peek-a-boo" player. -- I've three years in a row now, and I'm looking to defend the championship again this spring.

2. I am not afraid of baby spit. -- Since I've been around babies since I was ten years old (thanks Hunter), I'm sort of used to the fact that they're messy. Most of the mess just consists of drool, and well I like dogs even though they drool, and babies are much cuter than dogs, so what's the big deal?

3. I am perhaps the most excellent baby airplane service ever created. -- There are a lot of imitators out there, but nobody can fly a baby around the living room and back again like the Drunken Rogue. Nobody. Just ask Sara Claire.

4. I still think "Sesame Street" is the greatest show on TV. -- You've read my opinions on the new shows, "Studio 60" and "Heroes" and you know I'm a devout "Lost" watcher, but you might not know that I have a first love as far as TV goes, and that love is Muppets. Muppets singing songs about shapes, colors, numbers and letters is in my opinion the ultimate form of entertainment. I'm just sayin'.

5. I'm still a big kid myself. -- So I'm 25. I'm married, well educated and employed as a Disc Jockey for a major country station. But what are my favorite things to do? Watch TV, play video games, and talk about super heroes and science fiction. Intellectually I may be above average, but as far as pastime goes, I'm about 11. Booyah!

So, after writing up my qualifications, I have decided to embark on a new career as a full-time babysitter. I've printed up business cards, made some flyers and even tried to purchase a newspaper ad. I say tried, because I ran into some problems. When I told the lady at the newspaper the name of my business she laughed at me and told me she would not be placing my ad in the paper. She said the ad section was only for serious businesses. I don't get it, maybe some of you can give me some input as to what the problem might be. I'm calling myself, "Drunken Rogue Daycare." Nope, I don't see anything wrong there.