Questions I would Ask if I Were on the "Lost" Island

"Lost" is a smash hit for ABC. In the past two seasons it has spawned a lot of copycats. Dozens of serialized dramas, and several science fiction/fantasy hourlong series as well. Shows like "Surface," "Invasion," "The Nine," "Heroes" and "Jericho" all have "Lost" to thank for their being greenlit.

The show is a thrill a minute. It's well written, well acted, and well directed. It's production budget is as large as its fanbase, but it is not without its flaws. Occasionally something completely ridiculous happens on that island, and that's what I'm here to clear up. For those of you that don't watch the show please feel free to avoid this one, not so much because I'll spoil something for you, but because it won't be that funny. Thank you.

1. "Has anybody else noticed, that if you hang out with Jack, Kate, Locke and Sawyer, you tend to die? I mean their death ratio is significantly higher than the rest of us. Maybe we shouldn't let them lead anymore."

2. "Guys, does anybody know who blew up the washing machine? Seriously, that sucks. I had sorta gotten used to having clean underwear again."

3. "So, did the monster in the trees just go away, or is there some other group of people that it's terrorizing and eating?...Anybody?"

4. "Ummm, why did we let the Muslim and the two Koreans take the boat? I mean I know it wouldn't fit forty of us, but couldn't we have had a lottery or something?"

5. "Who put the fat guy in charge of the food supply? I could've told you that was going to end badly."

6. "Soy sauce? Anybody got some Dharma brand soy sauce? This chicken is just plain dry, man! Soy sauce?"

7. "When do we get to do the challenge for the immunity idol? And where the hell is Jeff Probst?"

8. "Does anybody know how long Tivo's will keep stuff recorded if you just let it sit? I really don't want to miss last season's '24'. I just love Kiefer Sutherland."

9. "Since Sawyer's gone, does anybody want to help me look for the guns? I could really trade one for some liquor. Hey, it'd be just like the Indians!"

10. "Hurley, if you're really a multi-millionaire, why were you flying coach?"