Lance Bass is Gay!! and other Headlines from Captain Obvious

The pop world was shaken to its very core today when one of the members of the formerly popular boy band, "N'Sync" announced that he was and has been homosexual. That and other stories, including: Arabs dislike Jews, would like for them to leave; Former President Bill Clinton announces he is heterosexual.

Just over two weeks ago, July 12, The New York Post's Page Six column reported that Bass had been spotted with "Amazing Race" star Reichen Lehmkuhl at Atlantic House, a gay bar in Provincetown, Mass. Now Lance says that he and Reichen (whose name sounds an awful lot like vomiting, you have to admit it) are in a "stable" relationship. By stable he of course means that he won't go chasing tail, just because his honey bun is off chasing CBS cameras around the globe. Bass had already "come out" to his family members and close friends but had waited to reveal the information publicly for fear of how it would affect the other members of "N'Sync."

In an exclusive interview by plastic cup phone, the other members of "N'Sync" have responded to this "shocking" news to Captain Obvious reporters.

"I couldn't be happier for him or 'N'Sync'," says Joey Fatone. "I've think it's wonderful. Our audience is mostly made up of gay men, and girls who aren't old enough to know what gay is, so this should just up sales. Oh, and should get me a date, 'cause I love the dudes!"

"Me love dudes, too!" Chris Kirkpatrick shouts. "Except Eminem, him was mean to Chrissy Missy."

JC Chasez seems to have something to say, but is too busy making out with a young man by the name of Raoul to come to the plastic cup.

"I would just like to take this opportunity to officially announce that I am no longer affiliated with 'N'sync' in anyway." Justin Timberlake (the one talented member of this group) says. "As a matter of fact, I wasn't involved in the last album, either. They just took outtakes from my solo album and sang harmonies around them. I am now, and have always been a hundred percent homosexual...I mean heterosexual...or...whichever one means I like girls. Because I like girls...I mean women, not little girls...I think this interview is over now."

Captain Obvious reporters were unable to get any further comment from the members of "N'Sync" it seems that Mr. Kirkpatrick ate their end of the plastic cup phone. We were however able to get one further statement when we contacted Lance Bass.

"In case you were wondering, Gay people do totally love 'The Wizard of Oz.' It's like my favorite movie."

Thank you Mr. Bass. For the latest in Obvious Headlines, always tune into Captain Obvious - All the News You already Know!

**Lawyer's Note** ...You know what? He's on his own on this one.**End Lawyer's Note**